‎”…..the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’” ~ Jack Kerouac

Complete and random inspiration…

Goals for 2011

• LOVE
• Continue on my full detoxification of my body, mind, spirit
• Be continually conscious of my health and diet / fully embrace a raw food lifestyle as much as possible
• Continue with yoga and martial arts
• Achieve my ACG (Advanced Communicator Gold) designation in Toastmasters

Happy 2011… and may the new year bless you with health, wealth, and wisdom… and hope.

“Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good.” – Vaclav Havel

A darkened room, soft music, and reclining bound angle is a combination guaranteed to bring peace of mind and rest my soul. I often remain in the posture for long periods of time, REALLY feeling it, connecting with it, and observing the reaction of my body. It brings soothing relief to sore legs and an aching lower back. While engaged in the pose, I concentrate on mindful breathing, moving my head to each side and then the other on exhale. My movements are careful and deliberate; it is only on the mat or captured in the bliss of meditation do I forget about the daily pain in my physical form, and transcend to a place where the tangible is left behind, and only love is left. Only love is real.

Often, in the past, I have been described as a kite. I float off into the breeze, and a person may or may not be able to catch my tail and hold me momentarily. This depiction is not necessarily something that I would like to continue bringing into my future. Adventurous, up for a challenge, outgoing, playful – these are all positive qualities. Ungrounded is not something that I prefer to add to this list, but it has been where I have been for extended periods of time over the years.

When I originally decided to invest in Yoga Teacher Training, I never had the clear desire or goal in my mind that I would teach yoga professionally. As with many other endeavours I have embarked on in life it has been an exercise and journey of personal growth and discovery, rather than professional aspirations. My main goal, from the onset, was primarily spiritual development and now, in 2010, is personally a means to heal and nurture my body.

Therefore, looking forward to the future, I believe that my relationship with yoga will be primarily personal – a means for myself to remain grounded and at peace. Everyone needs an anchor to root them into the earth. I have many small anchors, and I feel the time is now that I bring them together into something that has weight and substance.

My past is full of “random” achievements that, to the outsides, may appear to be wasted ambitions and goals. I have invested thousands of dollars, hours upon hours, and blood, sweat, and tears! I have laboured over the Latin botanical families of plants, laid my eyes on more feet than a shoe salesperson, played with varying forms of energy, and worked my way through a vast number of Metaphysical affirmations. I have now spent 3+ years twisting myself into a pretzel and reading a vast cornucopia of life-changing literature. I guess this is the purpose: “life-changing”. The journey continues to follow this tradition. To many people, having a disability would be, well, disabling. To me, it has been nothing short of a blessing and everything has started to make sense to me in a way it simply couldn’t before.

Do I feel as though my life has been positively impacted by my experiences with yoga? Absolutely, without question. I feel a sense of serenity and calm within, the empowerment that only comes with reflection, and a greater appreciation of the rich history of the varying traditions of India. I may never teach yoga professionally (time with tell), but I am filled with gratitude to my teacher, Denise, and everyone else I have encountered on this journey. I plan to continue on this path in a different way than originally anticipated: by integrating my family.

I suppose I have a bit of a blockage in terms of the word “professional”. Professionally, I am (was?) a project manager / IT professional. It has never occurred to me to me to make money off of any of the modalities which I have studied – even though there have been ample opportunities. What I would really like to do would be to occasionally teach yoga classes for donation/trade only. I don’t want to be constrained by the rules and politics of clubs; I want my friends, family, and those who cannot afford it to receive benefit of my training to improve their own circumstance. I want to create an environment where I can further bond with my partner’s children and bring them into the experience and share my joy with them.

If anything I ever do has positively benefitted me, I consider it a complete success. If, as in the case of reflexology, reiki (or any of the myriad of modalities I have trained in) I have been of service to someone else, it has succeeded my expectations.

The word Yantra is derived from two Sanskrit words – “Yam” (support) and “Trana” (freedom). There are two types of Yantra: pictorial – a symbolic diagram used to assist meditation, and magic square/numerological Yantra.

A Yantra is a form of a mandala.

Benefits of working with mandalas/yantric images include:

• Aids in dealing with emotional problems
• Teaches patience, the ability to deal with limitations
• Finding self-realization
• Providing a calm and focused mind; better concentration
• Harmonizing the flow of energy
• The ability to enter a trance-like state from colouring or meditation on them
• Developing perfection – the link between the spiritual path and the desire of medicine to heal

I selected this yantra because I have had a long-standing fascination with the traditions and the accomplishments of the Druids. Stonehenge is so magical and fantastical that it is almost other worldly. When I was writing and reflecting on this, I intuitively put on Matt Ender’s Ancient Isle and was transported back to another time and place. I close my eyes, breathe, and find myself among this ancient energy…

Bless a thing and it will bless you. Curse it and it will curse you…If you bless a situation, it has no power to hurt you, and even if it is troublesome for a time, it will gradually fade out, if you sincerely bless it. – Emmet Fox

I am slowly developing my room of tranquility, an oasis of peace within this house of chaos.

• sauna
• my new singing bowl
• yoga books and supplies
• inspirational reading and divination decks
• cushions everywhere to laze upon

By the end of the month of September, when I am working again, this will truly be my sanctuary.

‎”Live out of your imagination, not your history.” – Stephen Covey